My thoughts on happiness...

Looking back, my year in Korea has been one of the happiest in my life. Sure it's been exciting to be in a new country, with a new job and new friends, but I'm convinced those are not the reasons that it's been so happy. I mean there are tons of foreigners who come here with the same opportunities and circumstances as me and are absolutely miserable. I don't think it's the environment I'm in, rather the attitude and action I've taken. And though, I will look back on it so fondly, it wasn't always so good. The second and third months were really rough. The combination of missing my friends and family, not being there for the holidays, and the crappy weather, as well as the initial excitement wearing off, had me down. But, I decided to commit myself to happiness and have now definitely achieved it.

Now that I’m about to leave Korea, I’ve started thinking a lot about how I need to take these attitudes and practices back to the "real world" with me. Actually, I don't think it's going to be too hard. While I’ve been here, I’ve thought a lot about personal development and happiness; I’ve read about it, listened to pod casts, read books and blogs about the subject and in doing so I’ve learned a lot about myself and how to live a happier life. There have been five strategies I’ve used to make the most out of my year and I will continue to use them to always strive towards happiness and fulfillment. I’ll dub them my “5 Basic Steps to Being Happy.”


My 5 Basic Rules for Happiness:

1. STOP- Stop trying to compete with other people or fulfill other people’s expectations of you.

2. CHANGE- If you’re not happy with something in your life, change your course. It may be scary or it may take a lot of effort at first, but your ultimate happiness will be the greatest reward.

3. COMMIT- Happiness is 100% a state of mind, and you must commit to thinking positively and always working towards happiness.

4. DO- Do what you love. Period. Life’s too short to waste it on things we despise.

5. SIMPLIFY- A wise person once said, “It is better to want what you have than to have what you want.” If you always need more material things, you will never be satisfied. Keep your life simple and surround yourself with the simple things in life that bring you joy.


Now, I’ll go into a little bit more detail on each rule. Sometime after moving to New York and working at Columbia, I realized that I was living my life out of concern of what other’s thought of me. The move and the job seemed like a natural progression after college; All of my peers were getting high-paying finance jobs and I felt like a failure compared to them if I did anything but live and work in New York and try to become some important person, too. In the back of my mind (and in my heart), I always knew that what I really wanted to do was travel and help other people in a real, direct way, but I didn‘t want to be seen as a failure. Even once I got to Korea and had been here for 7 months, I was STILL considering going back to what I had been doing before, just so I didn’t “fall behind” any further. Then one day, I was listening to my favorite pod cast, “The Daily Boost” and the host, Scott Smith, was talking about following your passion. He basically said, “stop trying to keep up with the Jones’s. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing and what other people’s expectations of you are. You already naturally do what makes you happy, now just do that for a living.” It really hit me hard. I realized that the thing I was already doing was teaching and traveling, and it had been the happiest year of my life, thus far. That was when I started to really consider becoming a teacher. And having the weight of comparing myself to everyone else off my shoulders as been so liberating.

My next rule is “change.” Right around time I had learned about Korea, and knew I wanted to go, but was SOOO scared, my friend Ashley told me an amazing quote. She said her mom had always told her “feel the fear, and do it anyway.” I’ve lived by that quote ever since. Basically it means, dare to chase your wildest dreams. Let yourself go after them, and accept the fear. The results will be so much sweeter when you accomplish something that took that much courage. The other part of this rule is just to know when you need to change. Know when you’re doing things that aren’t satisfying you, and figure out a way to change for the better. And never say never.

"Feel the fear...and do it anyway."

Since being in Korea, I’ve realized that to be happy, your mind has to be committed. For some people, that’s completely effortless, but other’s of us have to work at it. The thing people don’t always realize is that happiness has NOTHING to do with your environment, and EVERYTHING to do with your conscious decision to think and feel positively despite outside forces. You can think yourself into happiness, or at least out of misery, in almost any situation. In general, if you think negatively or expect bad things to happen, you will be unhappy and bad things will happen. If you are positive and let bad things roll off of you or you are able to see the good in them, then you are controlling your feelings and actively deciding to be happy. And you know what they say; if you think positively, you will attract positive things.

Mini-adventures are a quick fix... what could be funnier than fish sucking on your feet?

Next is to do what you love. Life is to short to make it anything but great, so try to do what you love and not to do what you don’t love. I really didn’t like my job in New York. I really wanted to teach and travel. I stopped working in New York and I started teaching and traveling. Simple really. Even if it’s not always possible in your career, especially with the current economic situation, you can still fill your life with things you love in your free time. Just get out there and do something.

I'd say I look pretty happy here :)

My last rule is to simplify. It’s been an important contributor to my happiness this year. Work hard, play hard, de-clutter your life, and stop worrying. Planning is great, but worrying and creating drama is a waste of time. Another part of simplification is to stop being such a consumer. I’ve lived with a lot less this year in Korea; no television, a lot less clothes and shoes, no fancy phone, no couch, etc. I mean it’s not like I’m living in a hut or anything, it’s still very comfortable, just a lot more simple. And I keep a list of simple things that make me happy. Whenever, I’m having a bad day, I just refer to the list and think about or do something on it to feel happier. My list includes- reading a good book, dancing, hiking, my family, exercise, my favorite music, nature, and more. Yesterday, it was pouring rain, but I had to get out of my apartment and out of my head, so I went for a hike in the rain. Went all the way to the peak of the mountain, got soaked, and was smiling the entire time. I also bookmark all of the Youtube videos, blogs and articles that instantly help boost my mood (I’ll list a few at the bottom).

Miss you guys!

Well there is SO much more I could say on this subject, but I‘ll leave it there…for now. In case you haven’t noticed, I really enjoy talking and writing about happiness, positivity and motivation, so expect to hear more about it in the future. If for no other reason, it helps me so much to write about it, but I also hope it can help you a little bit, too.




A few things from the internet that make me happy:

I LOVE this blog, definitely my inspiration: http://happiness-project.com/

Probably the best/most hilarious wedding procession in the history of the world. Watch the WHOLE thing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0&feature=related

Where the hell is, Matt? Again…because I love it so much. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY

PS22 Chorus, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5vrtZKvxWM

Last week of school...annyong, Gumjeong Elementary!

Last week, classes finished for the semester at my school, and I had to say goodbye to my 420 students. So, we had a party in all 14 classes, with snacks, games and songs and it was a great end to a great school year. I forced each class (with the exception of one) to smile for a picture, just to prove to you all that I do in fact teach over 400 Korean children every week!

During my goodbye party week, I received an overwhelming amount of presents and letters from my students. One student built me a model of my classroom, another student gave me a korean flag, and I got a lot of tacky but cute jewelery. Also got a lot of interesting food including chicken, cake, starbuck's latte's, aloe juice, dried squid, and more. But the most touching things I received were the letters, telling me how much I will be missed and how I have helped improve my students English. That is the ultimate pay-off I was hoping for with all of my hard work this semester.





Although I didn't always realize it, looking back I think that having my own classes was the best thing to happen to me in Korea. Though it was hard, as well as above and beyond the call of duty of a native english teacher, I know that it was the greatest experience I could have had. It really was invaluable. If I had continued co-teaching all year, I never would have formed the relationships I have with my students that have caused them to be so sad over my leaving. I never would have known how good it feels to succeed in motivating and teaching students. I never would have realized that teaching is the most rewarding job in the world if you go at it with passion and honest effort. So, as much as I want to say how unfair it was and how my school took advantage of me, the truth is that they KNEW I could do it and it was really a gift.

An unforgettable birthday...

It's been an amazing year in Korea and last week, I had an amazing birthday to top it off. I'm not one to make a big deal about my birthday, usually just happy to spend the day with a few really good friends, but I have to say, this year was truly special.

A package came for me at school the other week from my mom, and everyone was so curious about what it was. I opened the box and inside there were a few presents and a ton of cards (thanks to everyone who sent me something!), so my school immediately asked, "When is your birthday?!" I told them, but didn't think much of it until my students started talking about it. I realized that everyone in the school knew. On Friday, the day before my birthday, everyone was saying "Happy Birp-day!" and one class even sang to me. I had my afterschool class with my wonderful sixth grade girls and I knew they had something planned because they'd been giggling around me all day. Sure enough, they came into my classroom singing and holding a birthday cake. It actually wasn't a cake, but about 15 choco-pies (like Little Debbie's) piled up with chocolate sticks stuck in them to look like candles. It was adorable! They also presented me with a box of notes, which I almost cried reading. They all said happy birthday and thanked me for teaching them, it was so sweet. At the end of class, the other 5th grade English teacher, MJ, came to my classroom with one more suprise. She presented me with a book from our students, full of birthday letters and pictures. It was so amazing, and probably the best keepsake I'll have from Korea.










On Friday, we were all getting ready for a big celebration- the Boryong Mud Festival! We were leaving Saturday morning, so a few friends got together for a low-key birthday dinner at the best Indian food restaurant in Busan. We ate a ton, had some hookah, and then headed home to get ready for the main event.




Lucky for me, the most ridiculously amazing event of the year in Korea happened to be on MY birthday! Thanks to Alexis, I had a hat to wear to the festivities so everyone knew that it was my birthday. It was probably the best present I received because I got so much attention from everyone ...mostly from dirty, muddy, strangers but at mudfest that's ok! Oh and there were Korean photographers everywhere snapping pictures of us crazy foreigners and they LOVED me and my birthday hat, haha. The "paparazzi" took so many pictures of me, we were joking that I'll probably be seen on a banner or brochure next year, so if you're in Korea then, keep your eyes peeled! We had a blast, covering ourselves in mud with 10,000 other people, and spent the day going down fun slides, mud wrestling, and just partaking in all of the muddy shenanigans. At night, we showered off and the party continued at bars and restaurants with the thousands of other foreigners and Koreans alike.

At the end of the weekend, I was absolutely exhausted but it was worth every bit of suffering I experienced at school on Monday. It was a birthday that I am SURE I will never forget!

Laura Teach-uh!

So for those of you who haven't heard yet, I've decided that I want to become a teacher when I go home. Although I didn't think much of it the first half of the year and then had really tough second semester, which made me question it even more, a number of things made me change my mind.

The first thing was that throughout my time in Korea, I have really loved teaching and felt more right about it than any other job I've had. Though I talked about a lot of the problems I was having, I realized that they all had to do with the language barrier and subsequent miscommunication, which was aggrevated further by the lack of support from my school. Now that I have solved all the miscommunication problems, I feel that I am truly teaching, rather than standing up and putting on a show. And I love it! I have found ways to excite and motivate my students, and I think I have genuinely made a difference to them, and it feels so great.

Thinking about my values and goals in life, I've finally come to terms with a lot of things about who I am and who I'm not; I've realized I'm not competitive (in the business sense), don't care about making millions of dollars, don't want to work for a corporation, and I can't stand cubicles and staring at computers for 8 hours at a time. But I DO love being active, taking on challenges, working with young people, inspiring them, and making a real difference in lives daily. Teaching is a no brainer for me then, right? Although I resisted teaching for a long time (for the wrong reasons), I really think now that it's what I need to do with my life. So my plan next year is to apply to a number of different fellowship and graduate school programs to get my Masters in Education.

Now, on the note of inspiration and making a difference... you've probably already heard of the incredible Mr. B and his PS22 Chorus, because if you haven't then you must be living under a rock! Just kidding. But seriously, Mr. B is a music teacher in Staten Island who has done wonders with his students, the PS22 Chorus, inspiring them through music and making them famous on youtube for their amazing musical talent. It just goes to show how a passionate, inspiring teacher can truly make a profound difference. If I can make 1/100th of the difference that he has made, I'll feel successful.

PS22 Chorus, singing "Landslide":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2p5augniQA

And check out the Mr. B's blog: http://ps22chorus.blogspot.com/

Insanely awesome weekend

This weekend, I went on a trip with Adventure Korea, an adventure tour company for foreigners. On the itinerary was rafting, camping, visiting the DMZ and bungee jumping (but this was an option that only a few people decided to participate in)...do you think I took the plunge? Read on to find out...

We left early on Saturday morning, and after a long 7-hour bus ride up the coast of eastern Korea, we finally arrived at the Hantan river for our rafting trip. Most of us have rafted some pretty serious rivers back home, so when we saw the calm, un-intimidating river, we were less than impressed. But, we made the most of the trip, singing songs, starting water fights and stopping every twenty minutes to splash around on the shore and make slip and slides out of our rafts. Despite the lack of serious white water, we had a great time. After hiking a ways up to our buses, we washed off and headed to bungee jumping site.

We were a little behind schedule as we pulled onto the bridge where the bungee jump was, so the guide (his name is Young) told us that half of the people who wanted to go would go that night and half would go the next morning. I was relieved because I really wanted to do it, but I was way too freaked out to do it then, and I thought having a night to get up my courage would be helpful. Yet, just as the first group got off the bus, Young changed the plans. "How about everyone who wants to bungee gets off now? If we can fit everyone tonight, we won't have to come back tomorrow. But if we can't fit everyone, then we will come back." Great!! It was now or never, so I got off the bus, but at that point I really didn't believe I was going to do it that night.

To jump or not to jump?

Hilary canon balled it...and scared the crap out of us all!

Best pic of the weekend

I waited on the bridge, as the bravest of the group climbed up to the platform which jutted out above us. As the first few people took the plunge, I watched nervously as they fell almost 200 feet from the bungee platform. Person after person screamed with the thrill of the jump, which made my heart pound even harder! After about an hour, they told us it was time for the second group. It was going faster than they had anticipated and we would be finishing everyone tonight. Now I was really, really nervous! A couple of girls backed down because they just weren't ready, but I knew I HAD to do it, or I would always regret it. When I got up the platform, I became so nervous and nauseous that I thought I could throw up. On top of that, I hadn't had a chance to use the bathroom, so I was nearly positive I would pee my pants when I jumped! The bungee guys looked at my paper work and got me rigged into the ankle cuffs that would be keeping me from falling to my doom. Though I couldn't believe I would feel safe with just some stuff around my ankles, it was surprisingly sturdy and I knew it would be ok. Finally, after about 30 minutes of waiting so nervously, it was my turn.

I'm committed...peace out y'all!

moment of truth

Before I knew it, I was ushered to the edge of the platform and the bungee guy hooked me up to the cord and checked that I was all secure. I waved to my friends down at the bottom and took a deep breath. I still couldn't believe I was doing it! I hobbled to the edge of the platform and the guy said, "OK, you go on 4...1, 2, 3." "Wait!!" I screamed. I thought at that moment that I could turn around, but the thought quickly passed because I knew I was going to do it. "PIGHTING!!!" I yelled, the korean's way of saying "let's go kick some butt." Again, the guy began to count. This time, I went on 4. I bent my knees and dove out head first, falling for what seemed longer than it was. As I got close to the water, the cord caught and shot me back up, where I hovered weightless for a moment. I screamed and screamed and screamed, and then swore a little, but it was the best adrenaline rush I've ever experience.I was soooo happy I did it. The hardest part was all of the anticipation and then the moment before I actually jumped, but once I did it was insanely exhilarating. So yea, I can't say I won't be doing that again! ...and I didn't pee my pants either!

It's a little blurry, but that's meeee

After the bungeeing was finished, we headed to a Korean guesthouse where we were served a delicious traditional meal. We got settled into our rooms (which were both cozy and bug infested) and then enjoyed drinking, talking and singing around a bonfire for the rest of the night. At about 1 a.m. our guide took us out to play the "bravery game." The guest house we were staying at was only about a mile from the DMZ, so just by walking across the street and up a big hill, you can view the lights of the North Korean watch towers. Doing it at one o'clock in the morning makes it "bravery." It was fun, but I don't think it took a whole lot of courage.

Bonfire

Showing off my guitar skillz

The next day we actually went to the DMZ. We passed through the secure military zone and were not allowed to take any pictures (though at that point we were still on the South Korea side). The only point when we were actually in the de-militarized zone (neutral territory which is technically both countries) was when we went about a mile down into the 2nd Infiltration Tunnel. This is one of the four tunnels that was dug by North Koreans during the Korean War to invade South Korea. We walked through the tunnel for about 30 minutes until we reached the point where it was closed off, and I was happy to turn around as it was very creepy and claustrophobic down there! We went to several other areas of the DMZ, but that was by far the coolest.

Under the DMZ

North Korea did not build this for 6 foot American girls

Soldiers outside of the tunnel

Mountains of North Korea

Awesome pic of the DMZ gate, my friend Steph took this

It was an incredible, exhilarating weekend. Though I know I can't go jumping off of bridges or tunneling into communist countries every weekend, I certainly want to keep up the excitement. This weekend we're camping on a beach for the 4th of July and heading to the Mud Festival next weekend. As usual, can't wait!

The "F" Word

Lately, all of my friends in Korea seem to be using the "F" word a lot, and it's really starting to get to me. It seems like every time we get together, people can't stop saying it. So I'm sorry that I skipped a week of writing, it's just been difficult to reflect on what I've been doing here, when I'm constantly bombarded with that annoying "F" word: future. Wait- what did you think I meant?

Though I am still having a great time in Korea, playing in volleyball tournaments, enjoying the beach and starting to wrap up classes for the semester, I'm also spending a lot of time planning. Some of it is really exciting and some of it I would rather not be thinking about just yet.

The exciting news is that Alexis and I have booked an adventure trip in India for the first leg of our post-Korea backpacking trip! Sooooo excited! We'll be going on a 20-day tour of India with the same company I went sailing with in Greece. They are called GAP Adventures and I highly recommend them to anyone who wants to have an active, cultural experience and meet lots of cool people while your doing it. And thanks to my friend Jon who works for GAP and got a good discount, the trip won't break the bank. Anyway, we'll be flying to Delhi on August 30th, then touring to many different cities in Rajasthan- Jaipur, Udaipur, Pushkar- then to see the Taj Mahal in Agra and finally to the longest continually inhabited city in the world, Varanasi. It's going to be an incredible experience, full of good food, culture and people. And there's no need to worry about us; we're preparing to get all of our vaccinations, insurance, and we will be in the hands of a very reputable tour company. I can't wait!

GAP Adventures, Roam India Tour

(http://www.gapadventures.com/)

After India, we'll be heading to Thailand for my second visit and Alexis' first. We'll spend time in Bangkok, then travel to Sukothaini in the north, and then head to the island of Koh Chang for some R&R which I'm sure will be much needed after 25 days with our backpacks. After Thailand, off to see Angor Wat, one of the seven wonders of the world, in Cambodia and then to Ho Chi Minh City (formerly Saigon) in Vietnam. That will be around October 10th, and Lex will head home while I plan to stay a little bit longer. Possibly have some more friends meeting up with me there, but if not, I'll be doing a 2-week UNESCO volunteer project in the Sapa Valley region of Northern Vietnam, teaching English. It's going to be the adventure of a lifetime!!

Alright, I'll write more about the "F" word in blogs to come, but for now I'm just going to focus on enjoying the present. I'm sure after I leave Korea, I will really miss it! There are many exciting events coming up, so I will have a lot to write about again soon. Next weekend, I'm going on a rafting and camping trip in the Gangwon-do province, about 4 hours north of here. We will also be touring the DMZ (so long as their are no security issues with the evil step brother, you know who). The following weekend is the 4th of July and we'll be camping and bonfire-ing on a beach near Busan. After that, it's the biggest weekend of the year for foreigners in Korea, and it just so happens to be my birthday! It's the Boryeong Mud Festival and thousands of people go to this beach and get covered in mud, and party it up for the weekend. It's going to be one hell of a birthday!

"Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why they call it the present."

- comic on Nan's fridge, thanks!

Teaching in Korea- Progress Report

My main purpose of coming to Korea was to teach, yet I realize that I haven't written a whole lot about it in my blog. There have just been too many exciting adventures in my free time, that I haven't gotten around to it. The last time I wrote about my teaching experience, I told you about all of my challenges and how I was being taken advantage of my school by teaching completely on my own (against the contract) and without any teaching materials or curriculum. I vowed to keep a positive attitude and make an honest effort, and that's exactly what I have done.

The last four months of teaching have been really challenging, but it has gradually gotten easier and I am finally enjoying teaching on my own (mostly on my own, now). The major turning point came when I finally stood up and made my voice heard about the difficulties of teaching 4th grade alone. Although I didn't want to "give up," I realized that the communication gap was too large for me to be effective on my own. The 4th grade level is too low and to sit and listen to a native English speaker for 40 minutes straight, without any Korean, was just too difficult for them, hence the behavioral problems. I spoke up to my co-teachers (which I had already done, but this time I was much more insistent) and they suggested I write a letter to my Vice Principal fully explaining myself. When he read my letter, he was fully convinced and realized that it would in fact be much more effective to co-teach for 4th grade. He agreed, so long as I would still teach 5th and 6th grade on my own, which I happily accepted.

So, I have been co-teaching on Mondays and half of Tuesday with a young, energetic teacher named Jolie and the collaboration works great. Jolie is there to teach and translate in Korean, and I still serve my role to teach listening and speaking as a native English speaker. It really is very effective, and I can tell that the students are happier, more at ease and much better behaved in a situation where they understand whats going on. Plus, the co-teaching situation not only helps the native English speaker, it also helps the Korean English teachers improve, which is really needed in most public schools.

Now with my improved 4th grade situation, I have more time and less stress so I can be better prepared to teach alone. I 've learned a lot from my last three months of teaching and now have very good systems in place for my 5th and 6th grade classes. I pretty much use the same formula for every class; a 5 minute introduction, 10 minutes to review and present new information in an interesting way, 15 minutes for the main lesson, and 15 minutes to practice with games or activities. The biggest lesson I've learned is the simpler the better. I now focus on one or two phrases for each lesson, and even if it is too easy for the high level students, it still serves as a fun way to review, as well as practice listening to and conversing with a native English speaker. Though they've always thought my class was fun (I've played games through out the whole semester), lately I can tell my students are really understanding things better, and they are much more confident and happy because of it.

Just to sum up a few things I've learned about Teaching ESL in Korea (alone):

- Simple is better; stick to one or two key phrases and your students will have a much better experience
- Sometimes it's OK to give up; When things in the classroom are repeatedly not working, you need to make a change. Otherwise, you are doing yourself and your students a disservice.
- Play games! As long as you keep your students learning and speaking English the whole class, then the more fun, the better.
- ESL students will love you; If they have behavior problems, it's probably not that they don't like you, but rather they just don't understand you.
- Positive reinforcement is essential; make a reward system and stick to it. I have a group sticker chart, where teams can earn candy.
- Keep a positive attitude. There will be good days and bad, but if you keep a positive attitude and a smile on your face, the bad will be few and far between.

Finally, I don't think I could have turned this into such a good experience without my own conscious effort to keep a positive attitude. It can be really hard living in a foreign country when you don't speak the language and you can't even communicate with your co-workers. There are a lot of foreigners in Korea who probably get out of bed in the morning expecting the worst, and that's what they get. This year I've made a new effort to make a positive experience out of every morning. For me, that involves eating a healthy breakfast and drinking a nice cup of coffee while I check the news back at home. Then, on my way to school, I listen to podcasts, which are my new obsession!! If you own an iPod, you can download hundreds of thousands of podcasts on any subject right from your itunes for FREE. On the way to school, I listen to "self help" podcasts which sound corny, but they are really amazing. My two favorites are "The Daily Boost" and "Motivation to Move" and they are 10 minute long, positive thinking podcasts that really help me get pumped for my day.

Here's a list of my favorite podcasts, if you are interested:
- The Daily Boost
- Motivation to Move
- NPR: Wait, wait, don't tell me
- Nutrition Diva
- This American Life
- Stuff You Should Know
- NPR Storycorps
- The Moth

Teaching my afterschool class

One of my favorite fifth graders on Music Festival Day

1st Graders girls AND boys perform at Musical Festival
(4 boys to be exact!)