My thoughts on happiness...

Looking back, my year in Korea has been one of the happiest in my life. Sure it's been exciting to be in a new country, with a new job and new friends, but I'm convinced those are not the reasons that it's been so happy. I mean there are tons of foreigners who come here with the same opportunities and circumstances as me and are absolutely miserable. I don't think it's the environment I'm in, rather the attitude and action I've taken. And though, I will look back on it so fondly, it wasn't always so good. The second and third months were really rough. The combination of missing my friends and family, not being there for the holidays, and the crappy weather, as well as the initial excitement wearing off, had me down. But, I decided to commit myself to happiness and have now definitely achieved it.

Now that I’m about to leave Korea, I’ve started thinking a lot about how I need to take these attitudes and practices back to the "real world" with me. Actually, I don't think it's going to be too hard. While I’ve been here, I’ve thought a lot about personal development and happiness; I’ve read about it, listened to pod casts, read books and blogs about the subject and in doing so I’ve learned a lot about myself and how to live a happier life. There have been five strategies I’ve used to make the most out of my year and I will continue to use them to always strive towards happiness and fulfillment. I’ll dub them my “5 Basic Steps to Being Happy.”


My 5 Basic Rules for Happiness:

1. STOP- Stop trying to compete with other people or fulfill other people’s expectations of you.

2. CHANGE- If you’re not happy with something in your life, change your course. It may be scary or it may take a lot of effort at first, but your ultimate happiness will be the greatest reward.

3. COMMIT- Happiness is 100% a state of mind, and you must commit to thinking positively and always working towards happiness.

4. DO- Do what you love. Period. Life’s too short to waste it on things we despise.

5. SIMPLIFY- A wise person once said, “It is better to want what you have than to have what you want.” If you always need more material things, you will never be satisfied. Keep your life simple and surround yourself with the simple things in life that bring you joy.


Now, I’ll go into a little bit more detail on each rule. Sometime after moving to New York and working at Columbia, I realized that I was living my life out of concern of what other’s thought of me. The move and the job seemed like a natural progression after college; All of my peers were getting high-paying finance jobs and I felt like a failure compared to them if I did anything but live and work in New York and try to become some important person, too. In the back of my mind (and in my heart), I always knew that what I really wanted to do was travel and help other people in a real, direct way, but I didn‘t want to be seen as a failure. Even once I got to Korea and had been here for 7 months, I was STILL considering going back to what I had been doing before, just so I didn’t “fall behind” any further. Then one day, I was listening to my favorite pod cast, “The Daily Boost” and the host, Scott Smith, was talking about following your passion. He basically said, “stop trying to keep up with the Jones’s. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing and what other people’s expectations of you are. You already naturally do what makes you happy, now just do that for a living.” It really hit me hard. I realized that the thing I was already doing was teaching and traveling, and it had been the happiest year of my life, thus far. That was when I started to really consider becoming a teacher. And having the weight of comparing myself to everyone else off my shoulders as been so liberating.

My next rule is “change.” Right around time I had learned about Korea, and knew I wanted to go, but was SOOO scared, my friend Ashley told me an amazing quote. She said her mom had always told her “feel the fear, and do it anyway.” I’ve lived by that quote ever since. Basically it means, dare to chase your wildest dreams. Let yourself go after them, and accept the fear. The results will be so much sweeter when you accomplish something that took that much courage. The other part of this rule is just to know when you need to change. Know when you’re doing things that aren’t satisfying you, and figure out a way to change for the better. And never say never.

"Feel the fear...and do it anyway."

Since being in Korea, I’ve realized that to be happy, your mind has to be committed. For some people, that’s completely effortless, but other’s of us have to work at it. The thing people don’t always realize is that happiness has NOTHING to do with your environment, and EVERYTHING to do with your conscious decision to think and feel positively despite outside forces. You can think yourself into happiness, or at least out of misery, in almost any situation. In general, if you think negatively or expect bad things to happen, you will be unhappy and bad things will happen. If you are positive and let bad things roll off of you or you are able to see the good in them, then you are controlling your feelings and actively deciding to be happy. And you know what they say; if you think positively, you will attract positive things.

Mini-adventures are a quick fix... what could be funnier than fish sucking on your feet?

Next is to do what you love. Life is to short to make it anything but great, so try to do what you love and not to do what you don’t love. I really didn’t like my job in New York. I really wanted to teach and travel. I stopped working in New York and I started teaching and traveling. Simple really. Even if it’s not always possible in your career, especially with the current economic situation, you can still fill your life with things you love in your free time. Just get out there and do something.

I'd say I look pretty happy here :)

My last rule is to simplify. It’s been an important contributor to my happiness this year. Work hard, play hard, de-clutter your life, and stop worrying. Planning is great, but worrying and creating drama is a waste of time. Another part of simplification is to stop being such a consumer. I’ve lived with a lot less this year in Korea; no television, a lot less clothes and shoes, no fancy phone, no couch, etc. I mean it’s not like I’m living in a hut or anything, it’s still very comfortable, just a lot more simple. And I keep a list of simple things that make me happy. Whenever, I’m having a bad day, I just refer to the list and think about or do something on it to feel happier. My list includes- reading a good book, dancing, hiking, my family, exercise, my favorite music, nature, and more. Yesterday, it was pouring rain, but I had to get out of my apartment and out of my head, so I went for a hike in the rain. Went all the way to the peak of the mountain, got soaked, and was smiling the entire time. I also bookmark all of the Youtube videos, blogs and articles that instantly help boost my mood (I’ll list a few at the bottom).

Miss you guys!

Well there is SO much more I could say on this subject, but I‘ll leave it there…for now. In case you haven’t noticed, I really enjoy talking and writing about happiness, positivity and motivation, so expect to hear more about it in the future. If for no other reason, it helps me so much to write about it, but I also hope it can help you a little bit, too.




A few things from the internet that make me happy:

I LOVE this blog, definitely my inspiration: http://happiness-project.com/

Probably the best/most hilarious wedding procession in the history of the world. Watch the WHOLE thing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0&feature=related

Where the hell is, Matt? Again…because I love it so much. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY

PS22 Chorus, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5vrtZKvxWM