After writing last week's entry, I immediately got a reality check, testing whether or not I could really live up to my words and my "rules" for happiness. In order explain what happened, I have to back up a bit.
It all started two weeks ago on the last day of school, right before I was getting a few days off, and then would be back to teach summer English camp. We received a call from the Busan Education Office saying that several schools in our area had swine flu cases and that summer camps were all cancelled. For a second, I wondered if I would be off the hook, but quickly realized that my co-teacher had somthing else up her sleeve.
While other schools did cancel everything, leaving all of the English teachers free for the month of August, my school wouldn't give up on the English program. They came up with the idea that I would run a class over Skype, with all of the English camp students (24 of them)! I immediately voiced my opinion that that was way too many students and that 4 hours of skyping a day was way too long. They told me to just try and we could always change it, and in the end they chose only 12 students for 3 hours of skyping a day. Still ridiculous in my opinion, but I agreed so as to show that I wanted to work hard and do my part.
I went along with it, and sure enough, on days 1-3 there were a ton of problems. Most of the students didn't have the technology to have a coherent conversation and many of them really couldn't understand me without the visual aid of facial expressions and body language. Two Korean English teachers were joining the class, and they would constantly have to interrupt to explain something in Korean. It was very frustrating. I was in a pretty bad mood all week. I kept thinking about my blog and trying to look on the bright side, but it was so tedious and frustrating and just plain not working. Not to mention, it was rainy all week, which didn't help! To make matters worse, the Korean English teachers were going to be on vacation on the 3rd and 4th week of the class and I'd be on my own.
I knew I had to make a change. I had tried to teach the class, but if I didn't do something soon, it would be too late to change anything and I would be stuck and alone. I voiced my opinion again, but they ignored me. On day 4, I spoke to my co-teacher about how frustrated I was and we need a better plan for while they were on vacation. She suggested that we have a meeting with the Vice Principal the next day, and I happily agreed.
I went to school and after calmly and kindly stating my feelings and opinions about the situation, they understood. They realized that I would have happily done English camp (it wasn't my fault it was cancelled!) but that Skype just wasn't working. In the end, they decided it would be better if the Korean English teachers took over the Skype class and I did their job of planning the curriculum for next semester. Although I felt a little guilty, I had to realize that I had stood up for myself and made my situation better without making anyone else's worse. So, here I am at work for 4 hours a day, planning, creating and having a hell of a lot less stress during my last month in Korea. Plus, my Vice Principal gave me extra vacation time, too. Not a bad trade.
So, this whole situation taught me a few things. First: Be sure you can practice what you preach, but also realize you can learn from your mistakes. Second (and I already knew this, but maybe had to be reminded): Being happy is a constant struggle of mind over matter, of which you are in control. But remember that it's far easier to be motivated when things are going well, then when they aren't, so go easy on yourself and others when that's the case. Third: The change rule is soooo important, but you must be willing to stand up for yourself and know what you want instead. So, in regards to my blog last week, I do think I can "practice what I preach" but obviously I'm young and am far from having everything "figured out" so I just need to keep working at it.
And that's about all I had to say about that. I made up for my less than stellar week with a wonderful weekend at the beach. Must have spent 24 hours there, just taking 8 hours off to go home and get some sleep. This week, I'm keeping it positive, back in the office in the mornings and running around like crazy trying to prepare for the big trip ...only 4 weeks to go until India!! Can't wait!!
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